Part III

            I awoke to Lyrie and Zylena binding my wounds. I don’t remember going to sleep nor getting hurt. It seemed like a strange time for me to get some sleep. Despite the obvious nap and my friends’ efforts, I was still tired and still in pain.

            Po returned, I don’t recall him leaving, with a potion he told me to drink. I looked at the red glimmering liquid of the potion and said, “Po, I think your home has a bit of a rat problem.”

            “Meepo,” the little kobold said.

            I decided not to play Po’s little name game and downed the potion. It tickled all the way down into my tummy and made the pain stop, but I was still exhausted.

            Lyrie waited around as long as she could but she kept looking at the door that the rats came out of. I knew she was worried about her cousins.

            “Why don’t you take Po and see what’s in there,” I said.

            “Meepo,” Po said.

We all ignored Po.

            “I’ll stay here and read to Zylena,” I said.

            Lyrie and Po went into the next room to investigate, while I read chapter two of The Adventures of Herlock Shomes to Zylena. This time Herlock was matching wits with a wizard who was taking revenge on his boyhood enemies by summoning imps to frame them for crimes. Herlock solved the crimes and took out the imps, but the wizard, Ytrairom, got away. I finished the story about the same time Lyrie and Po returned.

            Lyrie had found the body of one of her cousin’s friends, a ranger named Karaka. There were also two dead goblins and a kobold, but no other sign of her cousins. They had found some gold, five daggers, a longbow, studded leather armor, a backpack, and a dead end. I got one of the daggers. We all got the dead end.

            When I was finally well enough to continue, we all went into the room together. Lyrie had covered her cousin’s friend with a blanket.

            It couldn’t be a dead end. We hadn’t found any living goblins yet. I looked around the room taking a closer look with my magic candle. I noticed something strange about the wall in one corner and soon discovered a secret door.

            Lyrie opened the secret door and we heard a bell toll. Beyond the door was a hallway full of caltrops. If there were guards beyond the caltrops, they knew we were here. In case we needed to beat a hasty retreat, I used my Mage Hand to pick up the caltrops and deposit them in the dead ranger’s old backpack (he wasn’t using it anymore anyway) that Po carried.

            We could see the flickering light of a fire at the end of the hallway. Lyrie kept her bow trained on the opening while I picked up the caltrops. At the end of the hallway, we found our first very alive and very angry goblins. The toll of the bell had given us away and they thought they were ready for us. Lyrie’s two swords swirled around her and she felled both goblins. I could not hit the broad side of a citadel despite being inside one. I was beginning to feel a bit superfluous. I needed another one of those combustible walking plants to boost my spirits.

            The room was a mess even if Lyrie had not just killed two goblins in it. There was trash and refuse all over the place. I picked up one of the jugs that were lying around and got a nose full of vinegary awfulness. There was also putrid jerky[1].

            On the opposite side of the room from where we entered was an opening that led to a stairway that plunged further down into the citadel. It was inky black down there with only a hint of any kind of light.

            Gumdrop swooped down and landed at the base of the stairs. I shut my eyes and could see into the room below. Three burlap dummies were hanging from the ceiling near the opening into the room. The light was so poor that I could see nothing else.

            I told them about what little I could see.

            “I’ll light a torch and I’ll throw it into the room,” Lyrie said. “That should give us some advantage.”

            Lyrie led us quietly down the stairs. She threw the lit torch into the room. I charged in. There was a Hop-sized wall about two-thirds of the way across the room. I figured there were some goblins behind it and hurled a firebolt over the wall while taking cover behind the dummies. Nothing seemed to happen. Lyrie followed me in and charged up to the wall and plunged her two swords down behind it near where I’d thrown my firebolt. The sound of her swords connecting kind of turned my stomach. Zylena and Po followed her in. Zylena stepped over the wall and her staff plunged on something that made a wet splattering sound. Po jumped on the wall and slashed with his dagger. Lyrie made another attack, then all went quiet.

            I stayed hidden behind the dummies feeling like a dummy and definitely feeling superfluous. I peeked around to look at the three victorious combatants in all their glorious readiness. Po licked his dagger clean.[2]

            There were three doors in the room. I opened the door closest to me and looked in. The ceiling was low, the top of my patchwork top hat would brush against it. Three kobolds were manacled to the wall and they cowered away from the light of my lantern. At the far end of the room, obscured by shadows, sat a cage.

            In draconic, I said, “Don’t worry, we’re here to rescue you.”

            The three continued to shake, considering I’m not very scary, I decided that they must be afraid of whatever was in the cage at the other end of the room.

            “What are your names?” I asked, trying to distract them from the shadowy caged monster.

            “Leepo.”

            “Neepo.”

            “Peepo.”

            Their names were so similar and very much like our friend Po’s name. Then it hit me.

I said, “Oh, his name is Meepo. He wasn’t saying, me, Po, he was saying Meepo.”

“Why did you repeat yourself?” Lyrie asked as she entered the room bent over due to the low ceiling.

“I didn’t repeat myself, I said Meepo and me, Po.”

“Nope, you’re repeating yourself,” Lyrie said. “Maybe that blow you took did more damage than we thought.”

“I’m fine. I blame his parents for giving him a name that causes such confusion.”

            Zylena crawled into the room and in elven asked, “What are you two going on about?”

            “Kobold naming conventions,” I said.

            “So, really important stuff while we’re in a literal dungeon.”

            “It’s important to kobolds,” I said as I pointed out our manacled witnesses.

            Lyrie produced a key that she had taken off one of the goblins they had just killed and tried to unlock the manacles. It didn’t work. She got to work picking the locks.

            Po, I mean Meepo, entered and was very happy to see his kin.

            I had delayed enough and brought my light closer to the back of the room where the cage loomed. The shadows retreated from my magical candle to reveal a gnome locked inside the cage’s innards.

            “There’s a gnome over here,” I said. “And he doesn’t look very healthy.”

            Zylena crawled over, reached into the cage, and touched the gnome while she muttered unintelligibly. The gnome sat up and groaned.

            Zylena said something to him in a language I didn’t understand. I groaned thinking she had reverted to her poor communication ways. Now she was speaking gibberish to the little guy. It was bad enough that he was locked in a cage, now some crazy huge sheep-lady was babbling at him.

            To my surprise, the gnome replied in the same sounding gibberish. It just might be a language that I don’t know.

            “He says his name is Erky,” Zylena said to me in elven.

            “Really? Erky?” I replied in common.

            “My name is Erky Timbers, I’m an acolyte of Pelor,” the gnome said in common.

            “I’m Hops McGee, I’m a wizard of, umm, magic.”

            “Really? Can I see an example?” Erky asked.

            I took a moment to think, then, knowing he’s an acolyte of Pelor, I conjured a copy of a Pelor hymnbook I had read in Lyrie’s parent’s library. It was all glittery and magic-y

            “Here you go,” I said as I handed him the book through the bars.

“Thank you,” Erky said as he took the book with his eyes all wide

“Don’t get too attached to it,” I said. “It’ll disappear in about an hour.”

“Oh,” Erky said disappointedly.

            Lyrie did a stooping walk over and tried the key she had on the cage. It didn’t work again. She pulled out her lock picking tools and got to work.

            “How did you end up in here?” I asked.”

            “I was captured by goblins about a month ago while I was traveling on the old road.”

            “We traveled on the old road, too, but we didn’t get captured by goblins. We did see a bunch of little walking plants. I turned them to cinders.”

            “Were there any elves held here?” Lyrie asked as she worked.

            “There were, but they were taken away by the goblins.”

            “Taken where?” Lyrie asked as she paused in her work.

            “They took them to Belak.”

            “Who or what is a Belak?” I asked.

“He’s an old human spellcaster, who tends the garden with the Gulthias tree. The goblins are scared of him.”

            “The big bad is a gardener?” I asked. “Good thing I’m deadly against walking plants.”

            “The elves could’ve been my cousins,” Lyrie said.

            “Are you here to rescue them?” Erky asked.

            “Yes,” I said, then I told Erky about our tale and journey to find Lyrie’s cousins. The kobolds were not interested in my story, because after I finished telling my story I noticed they were gone. I don’t think I’ll miss them.

After I told our story and Lyrie picked the lock, we moved the bodies of the goblins into the prison room. No reason to leave evidence lying around. Although the blood trails might give it all away.

            The first door had been a success, so we decided to check the next door. The second door opened into a storeroom. It was stacked with boxes, crates, containers, cases, chests, packets, cartons, and packages. But nothing of interest.

            “There has been a lot of traffic through here,” Lyrie said. “I think we should check the other door.”

            “I like that idea,” I said.

            The last door opened into a hallway that turned to the left. We all looked at each other and we all shrugged, then headed down the hallway. At the turn, Lyrie paused and looked around.

            “There’s a door,” she said quietly.

            We all peeked around and decided to keep going.

            Lyrie walked toward the door and as soon as she reached it, she fell through the floor, again. Her quick elven reflexes saved her, again. Zylena pulled her up, again. I tried to help, again.

            “Why does this keep happening to me?” Lyrie asked once she was safe on solid ground.

            “You’re either unlucky or you tend to go first. It is one of the two,” I said. I personally didn’t want to see my best friend lost to a trap, I would have to learn more about how to avoid them. I wonder if there is a book about traps in Lyrie’s parent’s library?

            I stepped around the hole in the floor to get a better look at the door. There was frost on it and it was cold to the touch. The door was locked.

            In elven, I said, “I think there might be a white dragon on the other side of this door.”

            Lyrie picked the lock as I watched.

            “It’s time for Po to earn his keep,” Lyrie said in elven.

            “Meepo,” I said.

            “No, you Hops. He Po,” Lyrie replied pointing at the kobold.

“I don’t think we’ve met Heepo,” I said.

“Of course, we’ve met Po, he’s right there.”

“That’s Meepo,” I said.

“I don’t care if he’s your Po or someone else’s Po. He has a job to do,” Lyrie said. “Hey, Po. Calcryx is most likely behind this door.”

            I didn’t know that kobolds could smile. After having witnessed it, I don’t know if I want to see it again.

            Po, I mean Meepo, walked in first and said, “Calcryx, baby. I’m here.”

            Calcryx must have been scared and confused because he met his caretaker with a blast of icy breath. Zylena charged in and caught the kobold ice sickle before he hit the ground and babbled something to him. I cast Sleep, but the only thing that happed was a white dragon wyrmling was growling at me.

            I froze, not like Po, I mean Meepo, but in fear. I was too afraid to run and those ice blue eyes bore into me something fierce.

            “Do you want to be set free?” Erky yelled.

            “What?” I asked.

            “What?” growled Calcryx.

            “Do you want out of here?” Erky asked.

            I certainly did, but I realized that Erky wasn’t talking to me, he was asking the dragon.

            “I want to be free of my captors,” Calcryx growled.

            “We can get you away from the goblins and back home with the kobolds,” I said.

            “I want free from all of my captors, including those little tormentors.”

            I heard Po, I mean Meepo, whimper from where he shivered in Zylena’s arms.

            “Do you want freedom or revenge?” I asked. That was a little dark, but I was kind of hoping that the kobolds and the dragon would take care of each other. We still had cousins to rescue.

            Calcryx took a moment to contemplate my idea, but then he said, “I want freedom.”

            “Then follow us and we’ll set you free,” I said.

            You have not quite lived until you walk through a rat-infested dungeon-like citadel while leading a hostile dragon. Po, I mean Meepo, was elated and walked with confidence until we walked to the room where Calcryx had been kept. We all stood aside to let the dragon through.

            “No,” the little kobold said. He tried to block the archway but Zylena held him back. “You can’t go, I won’t be let back into the clan.”

            Calcryx did not hesitate and stepped into the room.

            “No, Calcryx. Don’t go,” Meepo yelled with tears in his voice.

            “If you chase him, you should be able to catch him,” I said.

            Meepo looked at me, then at the dwindling dragon. Then back at me, then back to the dragon. He ran into the room, yelling for Calcryx to wait.

            “Finally, we got rid of him,” Zylena said in elven

            “Why do I think this might be the worst thing I’ve ever done?” I asked.

            “You’re just saying that because we just release a dragon on the world,” Lyrie said.

            “I have a feeling we’re going to meet both or one of them again.”

            We walked back to the room where Calcryx had been laired up in. This time I noticed the strange decorations. They were easy to miss the first time when you are distracted by an angry dragon. The walls were lined with poorly mounted heads which included kobolds, cattle, and even a couple of giant rats.

            Calcryx had created a nest in the room with a pitiful hoard of treasure that included silverware and other junk. There were a few gold coins in there, too, that we split between all of us.

            Zylena found a faded scroll with strange writing in a carved bone case. It was not text that I could read, but Zylena could. She said, “Khundrukar.”

            “What does that mean?” I asked.

            “I believe it is a name,” Zylena replied. “It also says, ‘…the remaining few. By order of Durgeddin the Black, we have created a secret dwarven redoubt. None shall find us; however,…’”

            “However, what?” I asked.

            “That’s all that is left of the text.”

            “What does that mean?” I asked.

            “I don’t know.”

            Obviously, Zylena can read but is not necessarily a wealth of knowledge.

            There was one other door in the strange trophy room. After a quick listen at the door, we decided to open it. The large room beyond was lined with more dragon entwined pillars. It was guarded by goblins. There were three of them.

            I moved to my left and used my speed to try and flank them while giving the closest one a taste of a firebolt that glanced off his shoulder. The fight was quick and soon there were three dead goblins on the floor.

            This room had four doors. One door obviously led back into the storeroom. No need to see all the stacked boxes, crates, containers, cases, chests, packets, cartons, and packages from a different angle. Since there was nothing of interest in there.

            The first door we checked was the sleeping quarters for the goblins we’d just defeated. No one wanted to search their room. It smelled worse than it looked. We decided to drag their bodies into their room. I never knew how much of adventuring was moving bodies. Maybe I should bring a wheelbarrow with me next time. That would give me plenty of room for more bottles, food, and a blanket or two of my own. I’ll have to see what Lyrie’s aunt has in stock in her store.

            I listened at the third door. I heard what sounded like a whole town on the other side. I stepped back from the door and whispered, “I don’t think we want to go in there.”

            “Why?” Lyrie asked.

            “I think the goblin equivalent of Oakhurst is beyond that door,” I replied.

            “Let’s try the other door,” Lyrie said.

            The other door opened into a zig-zagging hallway that ended at another door. I could hear talking and moving around, but there were obviously fewer people behind this door than the one-off of the pillared room. I relayed that to everyone and we decided to charge in.[3]

            The room was round and in the center of it was around an open pit with vines growing out of it. There were four hobgoblins and a lady-goblin. The largest of the hobgoblins was reclining in a throne-like chair in gleaming silver armor. I recognized the armor. One of Lyrie’s cousins had worn such plate mail. Lyrie must have noticed too. She hesitated for just a moment before charging in.

I had saved my last spell for this moment. I fired Magic Missile at the big guy in Lyrie’s cousin’s armor. He seemed startled but otherwise unfazed by this sudden onslaught of adventurers.

Lyrie felled the goblin-lady but not before she cast a spell opening the other door, which allowed more hobgoblins in. Zylena engaged one of the hobgoblins and she was soon attacked by one of those walking plants. I remembered how those walking plants had ignited under my Firebolts. As soon as my cantrip touched the plant it brewed up just like its compatriots back on the old road. I am a beast against plants. Maybe I might actually be useful against the gardener.

Erky and I continued to throw spells trying to help our battling companions. When I could, I’d throw a firebolt at the big guy. Lyrie and Zylena were whirling dervishes with their weapons.

            One by one the hobgoblins fell to Lyrie and Zylena’s onslaught. The big guy decided retreat was the best option and he ran out the door the other hobgoblins had run in from. He died with a firebolt to his back. The room was full of goblins, but not the scary sword and mace-wielding kind. They watched wide-eyed as the big guy died. Then there was a stampede of goblins running out of the big room out into the dragon pillar room and away from us.

            We were all tired.

            “I wonder what’s down there?” I asked as I looked down into the hole in the middle of the room.

            “I think it can wait until tomorrow,” Lyrie said.

            “I suggest we hide in the zig-zagging hallway,” I said.

            “Yeah, I think you’re right,” Lyrie said as she looked down into the pit.

            We moved into the hallway and closed the door. I used my Mage Hand to place the caltrops in front of each door into the hallway. Once I was done with that, I took off my patchwork top hat and pulled out the sheets of parchment, and prepared my spells for the next day. I even prepared some of my harder spells, my experience today gave me the confidence to try and push myself farther than I had before.

I offered to share Zylena’s blanket with Erky since he was about a Hops tall and there was room for at least twelve Hops in the blanket. I fell asleep with visions of gardeners planting flowers, and possibly vegetables. I could go for some fresh greens. Maybe a carrot or two.

[1] Note to self: I will never be hungry enough for goblin food.

[2] Note to self: I will probably not be hungry enough to eat kobold food either, though their red glimmery drinks are delicious.

[3] In the future, we should definitely have a better plan than charge in.